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What Is A Friend?
According to the dictionary a friend is:
*a person who you like and enjoy being with
*a person who gives assistance; supporter
*a person who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile .
We have many names for our friends such as, homie, comrade, crony, confidant, bestie ally…etc . But what is a friend really?.....
When I think about my history with (friends). It goes back as far when I was a child; my first friend was my mom, then my dad, then my siblings and grandparents.
When I entered kindergarten, I was told that EVERYONE was my friend.
When I entered middle school I selected my friends by my likes and dislikes, even trends..
When I was in high school I labeled people as my friends (regretfully) based on how far they’d be willing to go with me into a handful of curiosities.
When I married, I considered my spouse to be my best friend, and when I had my first baby, I looked to other parents to be my friends and so on…
Many years ago when my boys were little, one of them had an issue with a friend, so I began explaining to my kids a realization I had about the friends i’ve had in my life. I explained that my friends have been like seasons. Some come and go through the seasons of life, and some become more like family.
The fact is we don’t decide when or how this happens, or who it happens with; God does! Years ago, the Lord (in the way He speaks to me) impressed in me that He was taking me to a new place in our relationship and that He was going to be pulling me away from some friendships; I remember feeling very emotional and sad about it; deep down something in me knew that whatever He had for me was going to be better; but it didn’t make it any easier until I gained some wisdom from those experiences.
It reminded me of a dream I had the year before, where I was sitting in an empty classroom, in front of me was a HUGE chalkboard and this incredible wind was blowing my hair back from the front of the room. In the dream (although intense), I understood that I was going to be entering a season of learning at an incredible speed. (Set apart if you will) So in obedience I prayed, I cried and I accepted it. (One thing I’ve learned is that He will always call us out of our comfort zones) maybe it’s because it requires FAITH.
As if my life wasn’t busy enough, suddenly I was working full time, going to school at night, I even began painting what the Lord was showing me in my spirit (even though I had no previous painting skills), I started writing more than I’d ever written in my life. I even started hosting a connect group through my church and that fall I even started tutoring English to ESL students at my school.
So many times id jump into my car, running from A to Z, full of joy and expectation; I would sometimes have this sense of guilt like I was failing my friends by not making time to nurture our friendships. But as soon as the pain crept in, it would dissipate because in those moments, I would hear the Lord in my heart say, “ this is my will for you in this season” I would grieve for a moment because to be honest, I was missing my friends.
However, there were these moments when I would be at school and I’d see a fellow student and the Lord would impress for me to love on them and we’d end up having an amazing conversation about Jesus. These (impressions) were more like feelings of compassion for them. There was never a time I walked away from that sort of obedience and regretted it. Instead, I’d walk away saying, “its so worth it Jesus.”
On this journey I have come to realize that a friend is simply “one who loves”; the way I see it is, I may not see you or talk to you every day, but when it counts and when the Lord leads I will be there. I may miss your parties and a few dinners, but when you need me, I will be there.
You see, before I knew Christ, my heart was pretty selfish, I was broken and I was lost. When I surrendered my life to Jesus, everything inside of me came to life again! The first year of my relationship with Jesus, I would find myself daydreaming; sort of looking within myself, as to say “all is actually, well”. I remember the feeling being very clear to me, that I hadn’t felt this good since I was a very little girl. So much HOPE.
I often feel obsessed with Jesus; I often wake up, and I just want to love people well; just a quarter of how he loves me at least. In Christ we have been given the ability to see the beauty in the ordinary and as believers this is what we have been called to do. See it! Call it out! Encourage! Admonish! Affirm!...
In scripture friendship is described as many things. According to the Bible, there are three possible objects of friendship: another person, God/ his Son, or someone else who follows Jesus.
*The first involves human friendship based simply on common humanity with all the joys and dangers associated with it.
Human friendship *brings help in time of trouble (Prov. 17:17 & 27:10 ; Luke 11:5-8)
* advice in perplexing situations (Prov. 27:9)
* a friend may rebuke in love, proving more faithful than a flatterer (Prov. 27:6)
*Friends may prove false, pretending affection and loyalty from ulterior motives (Psalm 55:12-14 ; Prov.14:20 ; Prov. 19:4, Prov.19:6-7)
*A friend may put one into debt by asking security for a loan ( Prov.6:1-5 ; Prov. 11:15 ; Prov. 17:18 & Prov. 22:26-27)
* Friendship can break down through gossip (Prov. 16:28) or holding grudges (Prov. 17:9)
*Friends may abandon one in trouble ( Psalm 38:11) & ( Ecclesiastes 9:10 )
I came to realize that I have had being a FRIEND wrong all along: as children of God our job is to “do good to all” (Galations 6:10)
Jesus encourages his followers to invite needy strangers, not friends, to their tables (Luke 14:12-14 ), and in the parable of the Good Samaritan he extends the concept of neighbor to include anyone in need ( Luke 10:25-37 ).
If you take anything from this post at all; remember this, “Don’t let people bully you, manipulate you, or obligate you into “friendships”; you are simply to be
“one who loves”.
"you cant make everyone happy, you are NOT a pizza”.